Bringing a foster child into your home is one of those moments you don’t forget. It’s hopeful and a little nerve-racking all at once. You want to get it right, but what does “right” even look like in a situation like this? Honestly, there’s no script. Every child is different. Every home is different. But there are a few things that can help them feel seen, safe, and maybe a little more settled.
Start with Their Space, Not Just the Welcome
As a foster carer with Fostering People, you don’t need a picture-perfect bedroom, but you’d be surprised how powerful it is to walk into a room and know it’s just for you. Clean sheets, something soft, maybe a light or lamp that feels cosy. That’s a start.
If they’re comfortable, let them choose where their stuff goes. Maybe they want their bed by the window. Maybe they don’t want a teddy, but they’d like a football poster or a book about dinosaurs. You don’t have to spend loads. It’s not about money. It’s about making space for them, not just giving them a place to stay.
Don’t Assume They’ll Slot into Your Routine (At Least Not Right Away)
Every child comes from somewhere. Some had structure, others had chaos. Some ate dinner at five. Some didn’t always get dinner. So, before you roll out your regular routines, just gently ask things like:
“What time do you usually have tea?”
“Do you like showers or baths better?”
“Do you usually read before bed?”
You’re not giving up your boundaries. You’re just showing that their normal matters too.
The Bond Might Take Time (And That’s Okay)
We all picture those heartwarming, instant-connection moments, but sometimes this can be a bit awkward. They might barely talk. Or they might talk a lot about things that seem completely random.
Let it be what it is. No pressure. Sit near them. Be consistent. Say things like, “I’m here if you want to chat,” or, “You don’t have to talk. I’m just glad you’re here.”
They notice more than you think.
Look for Little Comforts
If there’s a chance to speak to their social worker or previous carer, ask what makes them feel safe. A certain snack, a cartoon, a bedtime routine. Even if it seems small, it can mean everything to a child in a new environment.
And if they don’t arrive with much? Quietly fill in the blanks. A hoodie in their favourite colour. A toothbrush that stays in the same cup every day. Their own cereal box. These things say “you belong” without needing to say much at all.
You Don’t Have to Fix Everything
Honestly, you don’t. Some days all you can do is sit with them and watch TV, or ask if they want toast., and that’s enough. They’re not expecting you to have a perfect plan.
Just show up. That’s the bit they’ll remember.
The truth is…
You might feel like you’re winging it, and that’s completely normal. But if you’re trying, if you’re offering kindness and patience and a bit of quiet consistency, you’re already doing the thing that matters most.
That’s what helps a foster child feel welcome.
